So I did this thing yesterday...
I gave a talk on Self Confidence to a luncheon full of professional (and completely sober) women. I got excited about this subject while going though my coaching studies a couple of months ago. I got so pumped up about sharing it that I made an offer to Holly Fish to let me speak to WIN (Women In Networking) Pulaski… but the offer wasn’t just a run-of-the-mill talk. I knew it had to be more than just a "5 things to remember when you do hard stuff” kind of talk. I knew I had to actually get up there and DO some hard stuff!
So, channeling my inner Brené Brown, I closed the talk out singing Journey’s "Don't Stop Belivin'" ... complete with air guitar, shaky vocals and nauseated belly. In the preparation and anxiety filled anticipation of this 100% self imposed torture, the most amazing thing happened: I 100% had my own back.
I trusted I would be a soft place to land on the other side of doing said poop-in-pants inducing thing. I would get up there and give the talk and (what I hoped would be a) sing-along, but no matter what happened I would be so proud me. I’d be a different person on the other side. I would not talk about “regrets” and looking stupid or focus on the “lack” of it… I didn’t weigh the amount I wanted to, have the outline and story points nailed to a T in the presentation, that I cussed profusely throughout the talk… that my singing voice would sound horrid, the crowd would feel awkward, that I’d have sloppy transitions from speaking to singing or that I borrowed the sweet little karoke machine from my favorite 7 year old and it blinks and lights up (actually two of my MOST favorite parts). This was actually all perfect.
I originally thought scary singing thing would be great for the talk and hopefully illustrate to the ladies that our emotions are sensations… that discomfort is the currency of our dreams! Being Steve Perry is not my dream. Being an amazing life coach and teacher who packs in the value in every interaction and walks the talk, that’s actually my real dream. Making some money because I do put said value out into the world would be so nice too.
I didn’t know the depths of self acceptance until this talk/sing. Although it’s a phenomenal thing to have, other humans are not responsible for supporting me and encouraging me and agreeing with my visions or event thinking that they are sane… that is my job to do for me. I know more than one person thought I was NUTS for doing this… and I love all of these people all the same so much. If I needed them to feel something different than they do to go forth with my vision and be happy with my choices… then I’d stay stuck in the cave. I’d blame others and be victim-y. Never really happy. Or secure. Or never believe I can do something challenging unless approval was guaranteed to be waiting on the other end.
Humans are messy. But most of all we are amazing! I am amazing and sometimes I’m ONLY amazing because I’m a human divinely created to strive after my infinite potential… an abundant and full life. We all are. We’re enough right now in this very second. There is not another thing we need to be have or do. From the moment you lift your head off the pillow - you have everything you need. Here. Now. Is perfect. We can strive to grow and evolve and do big things FOR SURE! We’re meant to! But life and humans, none of that is perfect. Perfect isn’t the point. More and more I see that the mess is the point. And one moment it’s hard and scary, but the next it’s thrilling and beautiful. We have the hard and scary to thank for the thrilling and beautiful. The good is only good if we know about bad.
Have a messy weekend! Do something that is thrilling on the other side of the discomfort! Even if it’s just an extra smile, a wink or a fist bump. If you want to take it to another level, don't need anyone to return one back to you. And love them anyway.