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Confusion antidote

Confusion is a sneaky form of living unconsciously. 

Ever notice how worry over something pretends to be necessary and important? Confusion sucks me into a vortex of worthless behavior like: 

  • Mentally spinning out. I convince myself I’m doing something important “thinking about it”. I convince myself the spinning out thinking is somehow productive. But ironically, the more I spin here, the harder making a decision actually feels. Spinning generates more and more sticky confusion. 
  • I also say “I don’t know”.  A LOT. Aloud or in my head.
  • I’m paralyzed to actually act or commit to something. Which feels awful, draining, and leaves me with this hangover of self-loathing.
  • If I’m not spinning in negative mental energy over the problem, then I’m just avoiding it all together.  Another form of paralysis, with an energy draining undercurrent that is less overt than the spinning out. 

As awful as this feels, it is actually indulgent to let ourselves stay in the hellish grips of confusion. I know, “indulgent” seems like is should be associated with more pleasant things like chocolate pie or dog videos. But our primitive minds convince us to avoid making a “wrong” decision (umm... unless you're Cleo the psychic lady, that's impossible!). Or it warns us away from more challenging paths usually towards our dreams or some next level evolvement, which aren’t usually known to be lined with the pleasantries of chocolate and puppies, but instead failures, discomfort and growth. And we well know our long lists of justifications and reasonings for why we should not do the risky things. We hold on to those tightly, so we can blame them for all the things later... forgetting we decided they were more important. 

The lizard wants to protect us. So we fail ahead of time, waste time in confusion struggles that feel productive, or slip into being unconscious and distracted.  Use not making decisions as a way of avoiding taking responsibility - just "letting" it happen.  And since you have to be conscious of what you actually want to want something and go for it, we have decide to want something in the first place.

There can be so many messy layers.

But the simple answer to confusion is to:

  1. make a decision
  2. and don’t look back.

There is a difference between just wanting something and actually choosing something.

Choose something.

What if today you decide to make decisions fast? Decisions only take a moment to make. Don't give them a ton of time. Take some action. Even if it's just on the little things. What to wear, route to lunch, etc. Catch yourself being confused and decide instead to decide. Stop wasting you precious mental energy "thinking about it". Then have your own back with the fallout or success of it. You're the one who gets to decide how you feel about it in the end. 

Decide whatever you decide is the right decision because you made it.

Doing your best is all you can do. Practice letting the current of making decisions quickly carry you around. It’s invigorating. And actually way more "self-loving" than bubble baths, chocolate and maybe even puppies.

I’m taking 1:1 clients . If you need a hand, I'd love to help you get out of a confusion rut.

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